Funny Papers

I have always loved to write and at one time, I wanted to be a journalist (among other things). I wrote for my high school newspaper and I have written for a couple of websites and a small magazine. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor writing (something I even catch myself doing!). I find myself mentally correcting people's grammar and I subconsciously edit (and editorialize!) every news article I read.
Shocking, I know.

A friend of mine emailed this to me the other day and I thought it was hilarious!
You may have seen it before, but I just had to print it here. I rewrote a couple of the comments below, but the headlines are all original:

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the Tribune the other day and I called the Editorial Room and asked
who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized
that what he was reading was impossible!!!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No way! Really? Ya think?


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!


Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Can't really blame them, can you?


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Whatever happened to a fair trial?!


War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Possibly.


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought?


Enfield (London) 20Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

That would be my guess, too!


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Ok....


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

It wasn't me!


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

That'll teach 'em to stay in school!


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

You think height gives them an advantage?


And the winner is.....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?

Happy Easter!

Watch This: LOCAL NEWS

Rant/NOT Over!!

Not to be a bummer, but: Really frustrating day in the media...

Why?
WHHHHHYYYYYY????????????
Ok, so I could kinda-sorta believe the whole China excuse about the melamine in the baby formula to increase the "appearance" of protein (not ethical, but believable).
But explain to me the reason one would need to put melamine in CHOCOLATE???
And is Cadbury just stupid, or what?
Did they learn nothing from all of LAST YEAR'S fiascos?
Read more HERE

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Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac WAKE UP CALL!
A good friend sent me this link from YouTube.
I was groaning after the first 3 minutes. You have GOT to be kidding me!
This guy (the regulator) was warning us of EVERYTHING that has happened in the past month!
Why would nobody listen???
Have you seen THIS?

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And then there were THREE.
Where & how is this going to end?
Good to know my future is in the hands of the One, True God.
If I didn't remember that, I'd be freaking out right about now.

That said, I think I'm good on the whole news thing for a while.
Maybe I'll take a week-long hiatus (or two).