With mixed emotions, I write this post:
So many things I want to say, but I don't want to be too wordy.
Life is so strange.
One minute you're having a nice evening, walking in the cool evening, and then your cell phone rings.
Tragic news.
One of Clay's best friends from High School -- Ken Ashlock -- was killed yesterday in a car accident.
Apparently, he and 2 other men were returning home from work early in the morning and the guy who was driving fell asleep at the wheel.
Ken and another passenger were killed instantly when their truck hit a tree. The driver sustained minor injuries.
I don't know which one I'm sadder for... Ken and those he's left behind (wife & children, brothers, friends) or the man who will have to live the rest of his life with the guilt of this senseless accident.
Clay left this morning to start the 10 hour drive to Abilene, Texas to attend the funeral.
Even though we haven't been in contact with Ken on a regular basis these past few years, he is memorable figure in our marriage. Right after Clay and I were married, Ken and his wife, Dawnette came to visit and it was a wonderful & crazy visit! Ken was such a character... It's funny; just the other day, Clay was telling our daughters a "Ken story" of the time when they dared Ken to shave his head into a mohawk (Keep in mind, this was the early 80's).
Then there's the time that Ken climbed over the fence at the zoo and taunted a 500 pound tiger through the bars... I've never seen a man jump back so fast!
And I'll never forget the one about Ken... Well, you get the picture.
It's very sad around here tonight.
Go hug the ones you love and call the friends you haven't talked to in awhile.
Life is too short not to.
23 February 2008
21 February 2008
Wake Me When It's Over...
No, I'm not talking about the election... well, not entirely.
I think I have alluded to my various health issues in previous posts... the struggles with my weight and ALL the issues that entails.
I have type II diabetes, severe hypo-thyroidism, & Empty Sella Syndrome (the last of which is probably a large contributor to the other two).
It's so frustrating living in this body that I no longer fully understand. I wasn't always overweight; In high school, I actually did some modeling and pageant work. And I have always been a fitness nut -- exercising in my room with home-made weights as early as age 15. By the time I got married, I could easily do 200 sit-ups/crunches without breaking a sweat (well, not much of one anyway.)
But in recent years, my body has betrayed me... Despite years of focus on healthy eating and somewhat regular exercise, I continue to struggle. I probably know more about nutrition and exercise than 95% of my friends, but you wouldn't know it to look at me. Oh, I see the condescending looks of those who think I simply need to "eat less & move more," and it makes me so mad.
I'm not huge by any means, but I am not happy with the way I look OR the way I feel.
Today, I had my check-up with my metabolic specialist/endocrinologist; the results were not good. Despite treatment, my thyroid levels have dropped even more & my hormones & blood sugar are all over the place. He is putting me on 2 more medications.
Arrrghhhhh!
I am NOT a person who likes to take medicine and for years I refused it when I probably needed it because I did not want to become "one of those people" who are always popping pills.
But, dang; what are you supposed to do when your body is a traitor???
Like Paul, I have prayed -- many times -- for this thorn in the flesh to be removed from me, but for whatever reason, that has not happened. I have dieted & exercised and checked my blood sugar religiously. I drink tons of water and I take a multi-vitamin every day. I have done various cleansing fasts and I incorporate homeopathic remedies whenever I can. But, for now, it's apparently not enough.
Don't get me wrong; I do believe that God is sovereign and that even THIS can be used for a greater good.
I still have faith that there is SOME purpose in this fight -- this struggle that would make even Sisyphus weep. And I DO believe that God is still working on me.
So, *sigh* I will not lose hope and I will not give up.
But sometimes... every now and then... I wish I could just sleep through it all & awake when He's "done."
You know what I mean?
I think I have alluded to my various health issues in previous posts... the struggles with my weight and ALL the issues that entails.
I have type II diabetes, severe hypo-thyroidism, & Empty Sella Syndrome (the last of which is probably a large contributor to the other two).
It's so frustrating living in this body that I no longer fully understand. I wasn't always overweight; In high school, I actually did some modeling and pageant work. And I have always been a fitness nut -- exercising in my room with home-made weights as early as age 15. By the time I got married, I could easily do 200 sit-ups/crunches without breaking a sweat (well, not much of one anyway.)
But in recent years, my body has betrayed me... Despite years of focus on healthy eating and somewhat regular exercise, I continue to struggle. I probably know more about nutrition and exercise than 95% of my friends, but you wouldn't know it to look at me. Oh, I see the condescending looks of those who think I simply need to "eat less & move more," and it makes me so mad.
I'm not huge by any means, but I am not happy with the way I look OR the way I feel.
Today, I had my check-up with my metabolic specialist/endocrinologist; the results were not good. Despite treatment, my thyroid levels have dropped even more & my hormones & blood sugar are all over the place. He is putting me on 2 more medications.
Arrrghhhhh!
I am NOT a person who likes to take medicine and for years I refused it when I probably needed it because I did not want to become "one of those people" who are always popping pills.
But, dang; what are you supposed to do when your body is a traitor???
Like Paul, I have prayed -- many times -- for this thorn in the flesh to be removed from me, but for whatever reason, that has not happened. I have dieted & exercised and checked my blood sugar religiously. I drink tons of water and I take a multi-vitamin every day. I have done various cleansing fasts and I incorporate homeopathic remedies whenever I can. But, for now, it's apparently not enough.
Don't get me wrong; I do believe that God is sovereign and that even THIS can be used for a greater good.
I still have faith that there is SOME purpose in this fight -- this struggle that would make even Sisyphus weep. And I DO believe that God is still working on me.
So, *sigh* I will not lose hope and I will not give up.
But sometimes... every now and then... I wish I could just sleep through it all & awake when He's "done."
You know what I mean?
18 February 2008
Does This Make Me Look F.A.T.?
Tonight -- at Healing Place Women -- Pastor Dino spoke to us about being F.A.T.
Now, before you get all huffy, let me clarify:
As women of God, we should WANT to be F.A.T.
FAITHFUL
AVAILABLE
TEACHABLE
Wow. Talk about a message to hit home!
Despite all my efforts and ambitions to be "all that God has called me to be," I sat there wondering,
"How F.A.T. am I, really?"
(from my notes:)
-->Can people count on me?
-->Do I carry out my promises, even when there are "crises" and distractions all around me?
Hmmm... Ouch.
Now, before you get all huffy, let me clarify:
As women of God, we should WANT to be F.A.T.
FAITHFUL
AVAILABLE
TEACHABLE
Wow. Talk about a message to hit home!
Despite all my efforts and ambitions to be "all that God has called me to be," I sat there wondering,
"How F.A.T. am I, really?"
(from my notes:)
FAITHFUL
-->When I give my word, do people believe me?-->Can people count on me?
-->Do I carry out my promises, even when there are "crises" and distractions all around me?
Hmmm... Ouch.
AVAILABLE
-->A disciple of Christ is really called to a life of availability. Jesus didn't wait on those who made excuses or who asked for more time (to sell a piece of land or to go bury their father...); He chose those who were willing to drop whatever was in their hands (even their livelihood -- their fishing nets!) and follow Him.
-->We need to tone it down and stop being such drama queens about every little inconvenience in our life.
3 Baby Steps to Simplify Your Life:
*Go low-maintenance for a while. You don't have to be on-call or on-display 24/7.
*Begin to minimize the ME, so you can maximize the OTHERS.
*Pray & then watch & see. Keep your antennae up. -- Let go of your personal agenda and focus on the agenda of God.
... Getting a little uncomfortable here?...
-->We need to tone it down and stop being such drama queens about every little inconvenience in our life.
3 Baby Steps to Simplify Your Life:
*Go low-maintenance for a while. You don't have to be on-call or on-display 24/7.
*Begin to minimize the ME, so you can maximize the OTHERS.
*Pray & then watch & see. Keep your antennae up. -- Let go of your personal agenda and focus on the agenda of God.
... Getting a little uncomfortable here?...
TEACHABLE
Be open to God's direction and guidance; you never know from where it may come.
Often God will use OTHERS to speak His message to us. If we are always focused on ourselves, we're gonna miss it!
Those who are always looking "down" on others, may miss seeing Jesus.
"When you did this for the least of these..."
Lord, help me to always be teachable!
What an amazing lesson! I was writing as fast as I could, it was so good, I didn't want to miss a single point. I hope this post of Pastor Dino's message speaks to you as much as it did to me.
And I hope that you, too, can become very F.A.T.
Often God will use OTHERS to speak His message to us. If we are always focused on ourselves, we're gonna miss it!
Those who are always looking "down" on others, may miss seeing Jesus.
"When you did this for the least of these..."
Lord, help me to always be teachable!
What an amazing lesson! I was writing as fast as I could, it was so good, I didn't want to miss a single point. I hope this post of Pastor Dino's message speaks to you as much as it did to me.
And I hope that you, too, can become very F.A.T.
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