Funny Papers

I have always loved to write and at one time, I wanted to be a journalist (among other things). I wrote for my high school newspaper and I have written for a couple of websites and a small magazine. One of my biggest pet peeves is poor writing (something I even catch myself doing!). I find myself mentally correcting people's grammar and I subconsciously edit (and editorialize!) every news article I read.
Shocking, I know.

A friend of mine emailed this to me the other day and I thought it was hilarious!
You may have seen it before, but I just had to print it here. I rewrote a couple of the comments below, but the headlines are all original:

Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter

This one I caught in the Tribune the other day and I called the Editorial Room and asked
who wrote this. It took two or three readings before the editor realized
that what he was reading was impossible!!!

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

No way! Really? Ya think?


Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Now that's taking things a bit far!


Miners Refuse to Work after Death

Can't really blame them, can you?


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

Whatever happened to a fair trial?!


War Dims Hope for Peace

I can see where it might have that effect!


If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

Possibly.


Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Who would have thought?


Enfield (London) 20Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

That would be my guess, too!


Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?


Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

He probably IS the battery charge!


New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Ok....


Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

It wasn't me!


Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Do they taste like chicken?


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

That'll teach 'em to stay in school!


Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

You think height gives them an advantage?


And the winner is.....


Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Did I read that right?