Bittersweet Anniversary

I've been home for nearly a week, but I have been reluctant to post.

This past Sunday (July 13th) was an anniversary of sorts for me. If you want to read the whole story, you can read this post that I wrote last fall.

The "short version" is that while out walking with my family on the night of July 13th, 2005, I was hit and run over (literally) by a drunk driver (he was probably on drugs, too, from what we know about him). He took off after hitting me and thus began nearly 2 long years of pain, anger, and frustration. For me, it was a personal battle that slipped into an angry depression. I gained weight and became very irritable. Nothing made me happy -- not even the miracle that none of us were seriously injured.

I could end the story there and say that this "anniversary" only brings pain, but that simply isn't true. You see, God took something that was awful -- in SO many ways -- and used it for deeper healing in me and greater glory for Him.

One day, while wallowing in my misery and self-pity, I felt a distinct tug at my heart.
It was as if God was saying, "Hey! You have a choice here. You can either choose to remain angry and bitter and hostile or you can choose ME (Him). You can't have it both ways and I can't use you this way."

No, I did not hear an audible voice, but the message I "heard," was loud and clear.
And the choice was unmistakable.
Needless to say (obviously), I chose Him.
The change did not come easily and it didn't happen overnight, but when I look back now, the change in myself is profound.

God has honored my faithfulness to Him with blessings beyond anything I could have ever imagined. He has shown me a promise for my future and I have felt His presence in my life in many different ways. I am SO much healthier physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I EVER was before or after the "accident."

So how can I possibly look on this anniversary with anything less than gratitude and hope?
Who knows?
Maybe someday I will even begin to celebrate July 13th as a birthday of sorts: at any rate, a RE-birth of my personal faith in Christ.