16 July 2008

Bittersweet Anniversary

I've been home for nearly a week, but I have been reluctant to post.

This past Sunday (July 13th) was an anniversary of sorts for me. If you want to read the whole story, you can read this post that I wrote last fall.

The "short version" is that while out walking with my family on the night of July 13th, 2005, I was hit and run over (literally) by a drunk driver (he was probably on drugs, too, from what we know about him). He took off after hitting me and thus began nearly 2 long years of pain, anger, and frustration. For me, it was a personal battle that slipped into an angry depression. I gained weight and became very irritable. Nothing made me happy -- not even the miracle that none of us were seriously injured.

I could end the story there and say that this "anniversary" only brings pain, but that simply isn't true. You see, God took something that was awful -- in SO many ways -- and used it for deeper healing in me and greater glory for Him.

One day, while wallowing in my misery and self-pity, I felt a distinct tug at my heart.
It was as if God was saying, "Hey! You have a choice here. You can either choose to remain angry and bitter and hostile or you can choose ME (Him). You can't have it both ways and I can't use you this way."

No, I did not hear an audible voice, but the message I "heard," was loud and clear.
And the choice was unmistakable.
Needless to say (obviously), I chose Him.
The change did not come easily and it didn't happen overnight, but when I look back now, the change in myself is profound.

God has honored my faithfulness to Him with blessings beyond anything I could have ever imagined. He has shown me a promise for my future and I have felt His presence in my life in many different ways. I am SO much healthier physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually than I EVER was before or after the "accident."

So how can I possibly look on this anniversary with anything less than gratitude and hope?
Who knows?
Maybe someday I will even begin to celebrate July 13th as a birthday of sorts: at any rate, a RE-birth of my personal faith in Christ.


The Maggio Family said...

thanks for sharing such a personal story.

Lesley said...

Wow, that's quite a testimony!!!

I can't even begin to imagine the dark place you slipped into. With your God given strength and His grace, you pulled yourself out of that pit and into a bright, sunny, glorious place. Thank God you chose HIM. It's amazing to me when I hear the stories of people's lives and to see how crystal clear it is that God is so hard at work in each of our lives.

Your story is so inspiring to me. Thank you so much for sharing it. And, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!!!

Joyce said...

Hey Summer,
This is long! But I had to comment.

You KNOW I can identify with you on the drunk driver thing.
We went to court the first of this month for my daughter and her boyfriends accident.

Of course..DWI guy's court case was.."continued" because this court date came up only a few days after he had just got out of jail for "other stuff." He's got three full rap sheets of courty history and at the time he hit the kids he was in "contempt of court."

We've been down this road before. So we know how they "delay and delay" things so that they don't have to go to trial right away. We go back to court again in November for this.

All while this guy gets to run free doing God knows what.
We didn't notice that he was sorry at all. He didn't say it or act it and he stared at us nearly the entire time. We aren't mad, we don't have anything against him...it's just that we want the laws to do what the laws were established for.

Miss Priss is still hurting so badly after the accident and she still goes to a P.T. and the Chiropractor and her little boyfriend was in SO much pain in his knees today that he could hardly walk.
They are both so young..and it's hard for me to see them in pain due to some ding dong that didn't care if he hurt them or not.

Miss Priss told me the other day....
"I'd like to go and kick
A**t*n *e*m*n*" (obviously I won't put his name all over the net) in the BACK and let him know how it feels."
I told her..."that's not the way to deal with the pain nor the heartache" but I know what she means.
Especially me being the MOM!
I'd like to kick him in the butt.

I know though that our weapons are not of this world.. so we do have to fight another way.

But usually it seems like the drunk drivers rarely get hurt in their accidents. And apparently they don't care about who they hit or RUN OVER either.

Although, I know alot of them are "self medicating" themselves for one reason or another.
So you have the "hurt people, hurting people" thing going on.

I DO think you have done remarkably well through your ordeal.

You looked great last week at church!!
I for one am grateful you are alive....and doing well.
Hang in there.

Sharon said...

I remember when this happened and I was stunned when you emailed me about this. I know that recovering from this has been difficult but, God has been faithful hasn't He!!!??
God is GOOD!