"Lord, I don't deserve this."
His reply: Nobody does.
Those are the thoughts that have filled my head this week -- this unbelievably glorious week of GRACE.
Ok, so Monday night was the return of
Healing Place Women for the fall semester.
Thanks to Hurricanes Gustav and Ike, it was delayed for several weeks.
On Monday, they interviewed 10 of us onstage about our life groups that are starting THIS WEEK.
If you have been keeping up with my blog, you already know about mine.
Well, for several days the enemy was messing with me, saying: "You still have so far to go; what makes you think you can teach those ladies anything?"
It's true; I AM still on this journey.
Sure, I have lost (at least) 50 pounds since February, but I still have a ways to go til I get to my goal. And yes, I have had successful weight loss attempts before, but this time is different.
This time, I'm under God's authority and power -- not my own, limited, human power -- and I just KNOW that I will succeed.
That doesn't mean that I don't have my moments of doubt!
Goodness knows that when you have battled a weight issue for more than 25 years, it does some SERIOUS work on you, psychologically.
But God knows all that and He understands and He keeps picking me up and cheering me on.
Monday afternoon, I was kind of stressing; what will I wear tonight onstage???
I had bought these REALLY cute black denim pants and top the week before but they were really tight when I bought them. I put them away and vowed to wear them to our Women's Conference in October.
Well, Monday afternoon -- after a full day of discouraging thoughts -- I saw those jean capris sitting in my closet and a little voice (no, not literally -- don't send for Haldol just yet!), a little voice said, "Try them on."
Now, LOGICALLY, I knew -- KNEW -- they could not possibly fit me already. It had only been 5 days since I purchased them!
But I did it anyway.
And they fit WELL!
And this is a size I have not worn in NINE YEARS.
That was totally a gift from God -- completely undeserved.
But then again, EVERY gift we receive is undeserved and His grace is all we need.